Madly in Love with your Friend with Benefits

So you met this guy who you thought was everything your looking for and in your mind you just want to get to know him, maybe date him, "i'll see where it goes"....

Your getting along great going on dates, have fun with eachother, you sleep with him, you fall in love with him and then he tells you.

" I mean, we could just be friends with benefits"

You thought you left the house looking like this

and Instead you find out he sees you like this

and for the last few months that is all it was to him and it will never be anything but that.

What to do?

Do you... move on ?

....Keep walking

Do you....cuss him?

Do you play his game...and do it better than him?

Ladies dont fall into this trap, dont fall into his trap. Unless you really want that, it just isnt worth it. It is true that when someone turns you down for some reason humans are more drawn to that person, especially when there are desires sexually, attachment, emotional or longing. I learned a long time ago that it's one thing to be in a "friends with benefit" relationship but when he simply goes from treating you like this

to this
 

Then you should never settle for less. Remember in his mind you are there for only one thing and one thing only. Your his 3am booty call. Now I am focusing on when you fall in love with this person which means you  have already caught feelings. I am talking about the ones that just go wrong. You did not know he only wanted to be friends with benefits, you thought everything was going good. Until you have the talk. I have had friends it worked out great for, and it can work out great for some people. It worked out great because they communicated about what the both wanted but it also meant they didnt not treat the other like crap.

However I do believe that you should not subject yourself to anything you are uncomfortable with putting up with or you feel takes away from you as a person. If you are in love with someone your expectations are different, you want things he will never offer you and can never offer you because he just does not have the same feelings. It is unfair for you to stay with someone that has made there expectations clear to you, thinking they will change their minds. Most times it will never happen, there to busy having fun being single.

It could just be that you are not what will make that person want to settle. I know hearing that is harsh, but true. Some people never change regardless of whether they settle down 2 years after you or 5 years they  never seem to change and or grow as a person. On the other hand many do. It is better to find someone that will love you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It is hard to let go of those you love but "shouldn't it be easy if they neglect you as a person?" Not really, when someone tells you what they want out of a relationship and they mean what they say then that decision is then left up to you to make, whether you stick around or not is up to you. If you stick around you leave a very open window to not only get hurt but to also be treat anyway they wish to treat. 9 times out of ten they could care less if want to be treated better, your just for the moment they will move on to the next. Make sure to set your expectations clear as they have because the earlier you get out the longer you can exhale.

What goes wrong? Benefits for some? Is this what I want?  

Friends with benefits dont work out when one starts feeling a little different meaning feelings grow, it's no longer goodnight, or i'll see you later. The upside is that you have no strings attached to this person, right? so who cares how you treat them, I mean until it's done to you. It's at that point you either separate your self from the situation by staying far away from that person. However, if you can understand you fall into certain circumstances, categories to this person then you can enjoy your freedom. Right?  One of the greatest benefits is convenience however keep in mind this cuts the whole dinner, drinks and pretend to care, for some friends with benefits. It's when you take it beyond that it changes the dynamic of your relationship. There is a feeling of  comfort, many people who make this kind of arrangement already feel comfortable around eachother and more times are sexually attractive to eachother.

What else?

Jealousy

If you become attached it usually goes down hill from there fights, arguments "who you talking to", remember you arent allowed to ask those questions. If you feel like you need too, if you think you may catch something from this person or this person maybe unclean because of there other habits, move on!!! It's better to be safe and protected than sorry. If your feelings start to change address them and if it isnt in your best interest well, you do have the options to make decisions suitable to you. They are making decisions suitable to them.

Lost friendships

These kinds of relationship can end two ways good or bad. That means you can lose a friend for life or have a friend for life. If you mean enough to eachother to realize that this arrangement may not work for you then make a mature decision and remain friends.

The difference between F**k Buddies and Friends with Benefits

F**K buddies or sex buddies only call you late around 3am after the club, maybe text you to get a response just to have sex. It could be anybody you dont need to know this person for a long time in other terms booty calls. They never stay the morning, at this point there main goal is to get as far away from you, until next time.

Friends with benefits could be a friend or friends you know, you arent attached to anyone, not your boyfriend, not your girlfriend. Your friends who have sex.

Now let me address one thing if you are in any of these types of relationship and this works for you more power to you. There comes a point where it just gets GROSS!!!...what if you can catch something?  sleeping around with Tyrone, Tyrell, Terrence, Tyron and Ty, Cookie, Keisha and Cindy. Sleeping with multiple people is that really the answer to being single? and having fun? I mean is that what you really want. Then again everyone has there own decisions to make. Remember if your doing it, he is probably doing it too. So protect yourself always and if you arent then start too.

I would love to hear what you think, I will always leave the decisions for you all to make, Remember If your madly in love with someone who only wants one thing, and that is the worst situation to be in because you are convinced they will eventually want more. Maybe he will take me to dinner? or maybe we could catch a movie,? if I do this for him maybe he will call me and just talk? maybe if I sit here and wait one day he will realize am perfect for him?..or maybe he would just notice me??

Vous vivez et apprenez

You live and learn

xoxo